Monday, May 5, 2008

Terrible Twos, My ASS!

This is common knowledge to many, but age two is totally fun. Age three sucks ass.

At least I think it does. Or will. Quinn turns three in a couple weeks and he has turned into a complete nightmare. Somehow I expected that my sweet, chatty, fun two-year-old would stay that way.

Instead, he's turned into a freaky, strident, obnoxious almost three-year-old.

I mean, I guess there are good things about him, but he's always bossing us around and getting mad at us when we don't follow his directions, and holding grudges and stuff. It totally sucks.

I could itemize his lameness, but then this would be a really long post and Quinn would grow up to hate me. (I guess there's like a 50/50 chance of that anyway, but lets try to keep the balance in my favor.)

I have either blocked out the three year old years of Sam and Jack, or the two of them were were not as completely insane as Quinn.

I decided to see if what I am enduring is normal by taking an informal straw poll.

My straw poll consisted of this: At a park playdate, I asked a friend of mine if her three-year-old is insane. She said no, but her older child apparently was. And then a passing mother overheard our conversation and stopped to tell us that three is the worst. Especially if you have a newborn. (I have vague memories of having a newborn and a three year old. And a two year old.)

What I learned from this is that (1) I am very thorough with my straw polls, and (2) age three is sooooooo bad that desperate mothers are willing to interrupt complete strangers to complain about their children.

I really wish that the "terribles" would be over when the Q-ball turns three, but I'm a little bit afraid that Quinn's "terribles" will last until he's twenty-three.


  1. LOL ...I think that Quinn being your third child is the reason that all the terribles are somehow magnified. That's how it is at our house too. The youngest has been the worst through EVERY phase so far, but it's probably because they are number three, it really takes a lot more to get the parents' attention (when throwing a fit) than it did with your first child. I mean with your first, you are totally mortified when they have a meltdown in public, with the second one you just carry them out and shrug, and with the third one you just keep doing what you are doing and step over your kicking and screaming three year old. So I guess you have to give them an A for effort!!

  2. With my first 2 boys, the twos weren't bad, but their three year old years WERE!! Now Aiden has been rotten in his twos. I can only imagine what the threes will be like. Good luck!! This too shall pass. (I say this to myself all the time, it doesn't usually help though) :)

  3. My first one hit his terrible twos when he was 15 months old and finally aged out around five or so. He's lucky I let him live through year four. ;) He's now seven and things are a bit better.
    Younger brother is now three and he's a (knockonwoodmylipstoGod'sear) piece of cake. He'll be four this summer, so I figure I paid my dues with his older brother. ;)

  4. yeah, that independent streak they seem to get is a bitch. Moosie hit his around 3 almost 4, and Oh. My. God. I was like "Who in the hell are you?!?!"

  5. Wait until he learns to backtalk and roll his eyes at you. Three was awful, but five? It's a whole new kind of experience!

  6. My daughter is 3, and yes, she can be a total pain in the ass. However, my son, who is only 19-months, has apparently hit the terrible twos already. I vaguely recall saying the same thing about my daughter at this age, too. And I will have a newborn in about...12 weeks. Ugh. I am totally screwed, aren't I?

  7. I definitely thought 3's were much more challenging than 2's. We loved the 2's.

  8. Don't even get me started on the threes. While my first son was always pretty high maintenance, he was no worse than usual during his twos. My husband and I smugly figured we had escaped this stage unscathed. Ha. Literally, on his third birthday, it was as if someone had flipped the Satan Switch. Picture the birthday boy walking around the house wailing at the top of his lungs, "I don't WANT to be three!"

    It was a looooong year.

  9. The only thing that sucks more than three is four. O * M * G. xoxo, SG

  10. D just turned 3 24 days ago. God help me, but I may not make it. He screeches, and yells and DEMANDS! Is it bad to say I hate him just a little? Three bites!!!!! The only redeeming quality about three is the sweet, blessed quiet after it FINALLY goes to sleep. Amen.

  11. My 2.5 year old son has recently started reminding me of a hormonal thirteen year old girl.

    Three frightens me beyond belief.


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