Saturday, June 6, 2009

What I Learned Today at the Zoo, Volume II*

Today Team Stimey added a couple of honorary (cousin-style) members and we headed out to the zoo. Meet Team Junior Stimey Plus.

As always, I learned a lot at the zoo. For instance, pandas are cute.

Really cute.

But nowhere near as interesting as fancy little displays with movable parts.

Please note the COMPLETE lack of interest Jack is displaying in the REAL LIVE PANDA
DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIM! Because, look! Twirly things!

Also, not all zoo displays are exactly child-friendly. I didn't really want to explain about vaginal cells and panda sperm collection. At least not in public.

And how much do you think it would suck to have the panda sperm collection job?

If you are lucky enough to see an orangutan swinging from one enclosure to another using the overhead wires, enjoy it!

But be sure not to walk directly underneath the orangutan. I'm not going to go into specifics, but I will tell you that orangutans have a flair for the dramatic with their bodily functions and are not afraid to, say, hurl things that come out of their bodies.

I also learned that animals are far more interesting to young children if they have been featured in a Disney movie.

Also, if you stand next to the lemurs long enough, you will hear a lot of people singing, "I like to move it, move it!" (Enjoy your ear worm.)

I learned that tigers just might be cuter than pandas.


I always knew that ice cream was a good seventh-inning zoo activity. Today I learned that this type of icy treat not only makes Quinn really happy, but it also makes him kind of green.

But no matter how dirty ice cream makes Quinn, it doesn't compare to what it does to Mr. I Eat My Ice Cream Starting at the Bottom of the Cone.

Again, exhibits with movable parts are more interesting than actual animals. Especially if said exhibit involves the possibility of complete chaos.

And just when you think all is going smoothly, calmly, and easily, don't forget that Jack is very, very stealthy and just might be slowly and methodically emptying the soap dispenser of all of its soap right under your very nose.

I also learned that it is very cool to go to the zoo with Team Junior Stimey, but it is also very cool to go to the zoo with Team Junior Stimey Plus.

Although the walk back (uphill) to the car sucked some pretty serious shit.

* Volume I here.


  1. Sperm collection?? Vaginal cells? WTF? The zoo has changed since I was there last!

  2. That looks like so much fun! We lived so close and never had a car, so we would pick just one or two things to see. I would dread the uphill walk back to Conn Ave so sometimes we'd go home via the uphill walk to Mt. Pleasant!

    But could you have retrieved the car and left the boys to your sister and then picked them up at the lot nearest the petting farm? Or is that asking for trouble?

  3. The Nat'l Zoo always seems like the best place in the world to go.... until I get there. Until I get there... and then it seems more like the 7th circle of hell. This year my daughter's school took her on a field trip. Score!

  4. Oh man...We were just at the National Zoo over spring break and had a conversation along the lines of "I wouldn't want to be directly under that orangutan in case..."

    My kids will be fascinated to hear that you guys were witness (in an up-close kinda way) to that very phenomenon.

    So thanks for taking one for the team, so to speak.

    (And by the way, I love Jane Austen in the original, but also HIGHLY recommend the video versions. The recent Keira Knightly one is fun and more manageable time-wise. But the TV mini-series is much more true to the book and satisfying. Plus, hello, Colin Firth? Yum.)

  5. Park in the Beach drive lot - then the second half is down hill. I learned this while pushing a double stroller.

  6. Who says "I wanna be a panda sperm collector when I grow up"? Wish we had a good zoo around here. Ours kind of suck.

  7. Looks like everyone had a great time!!!

    We love the National Zoo. Never go there during Spring Break, especially when it coincides with the Cherry Blossom Festival! We made that mistake this year.

  8. From the looks of them, Team Stimey Plus could have grand adventures just about anywhere ... but they really rocked the zoo trip!

    It's good to know someone is keeping those animals in line.

  9. I park at the bottom of the zoo near the farm so we can walk downhill back to the car.

    Once when I was at the zoo, the orangutans put on a super show in their front yard. My kids wanted to know why the orangutans were wrestling "like that"

  10. Did you really take five little boys to the zoo? Yikes. You really are superwoman. ;)

  11. Did you really take five little boys to the zoo? Yikes. You really are superwoman. ;)

  12. I saw you were heading to the zoo, and I was so sad I had to work. We've GOT to get together. (We always park at the bottom lot. Then its always a downhill walk back to the car).

  13. The last time Matt took the kids to the zoo, the panda was rolling down the hill for fun, I was sorry to miss that! Kennedy also enjoys eating her cone from the bottom up- maybe it's a second kid thing! I always think of the great workout I'm getting walking up the hill pushing a stroller and holding a child! Hope you enjoy the rest of your time with your sister and nephews!

  14. This post is totally hilarious!! Sounds like a pretty awesome time. Cousins rule.

  15. Excellent adventure! We have seen the orangutan poop falling from the sky too. I have to say, it was the highlight of the trip.

  16. Panda sperm collection sounds daunting to say the least. Strangely enough, I recently watched a show about a German zoo in which they did some sperm collection from an elephant. That's just a nice way of saying that they spent several minutes of the program focusing on several zoo keepers jerking off an elephant. I still don't know how I feel about this being on public television.

  17. P.S. Tigers are not cute. They are majestic and terrifying.

  18. OMG, what IS it with that zoo that it seems like you're going uphill no matter which way you go?!?!?!!? AND, that there's NO SHADE whatsoever!!!!!

    The whole panda sperm thing is gross. They should put that in a non-kid accessible area. Yuck.

  19. wow tooooooooo cute!!! I would like to take a look of the Pandas as well.

    I love Panda... and just bought a Panda Bag from the following Blogshop:

    Nice to meet you.


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