Sunday, April 11, 2010

Typhoid Stimey Strikes Again

Alternatively titled: "The Eradication of the Ladybugs," "Stimey Continues to Cut a Swath of Death Through Hordes of Tiny Animals Everywhere," OR "Oh. I Was Supposed to FEED Them?"

Well, it's happened. The ladybugs are dead.

Evidently, this was not unexpected news.

I figure that this puts me in serial killer range. Not to mention that—and I'm not entirely sure about this but I think it's highly likely—killing masses of ladybugs increases the likelihood that I'm going to hell. Or at least earning myself a decade of bad luck or something.

They started out so well. They bustled around in their little larval state, eating the food that came in the tube with them. They were fun to watch. I even put their little habitat on my desk because they were so cool.

However by the time I did that, they were probably already dead. I'm tres observant.

There was one little guy who never made it out of larva stage that had been stuck to the side of the habitat since we first got it. I was going to make a joke about Corpsey McLarvaBug as a grotesque reminder of the grim specter of death to the other ladybugs. Unfortunately, the adult ladybugs were facing an even grimmer specter.

Look at my cool ladybug!!

Look at me watering my cool ladybug the next day!!

Huh. That's weird. He hasn't moved.

After poking at the semi-mummified body with the water dropper, I realized that no one in the habitat had moved for quite a while. Even when being poked with a water dropper.

Here's what I think happened. And by "here's what I think happened," I mean, "Here's what happened."

I was so excited watching the larvae turn into ladybugs that I totally failed to notice that they had turned into ladybugs and could no longer eat their larvae food. For want of one softened raisin, the colony was lost.

Here is Jack jabbing at the dead bugs.

I want another chance. I know I can do it this time. I've learned. I'll remember to feed my pets this time. I swear. I ordered another tube of larvae. (Right now you should imagine dozens of ladybug larvae visibly shuddering and then fighting their way to the back of their holding enclosure.)

As long as the kind people at Insect Lore don't regularly read my blog, my order will be filled and arrive shortly. I'll keep you posted. Rest assured that I have a stock of raisins on hand waiting for the metamorphosis.

Disclosure: The ladybug habitat was provided to me free for review purposes by Insect Lore. I'll be posting my review after my second batch of victims ladybugs grows to a ripe old age and flourishes as I release them into the spring sky.


  1. this made me laugh harder than i have all week.

    and no, i'm not a cruel person. i even LIKE ladybugs! but still.

    um, better luck next time?

  2. This is really, truly awesome. Better luck (literally!) next time!

  3. okay, next you look for milkweed plants and scope out for some butterfly larvae. Last year our lovely new neighbors gave us three in an oversized pretzel jar and they were going good and then they croaked just shy of busting out of the cocoon. Huge bummer. @nylagirl's tweet was hilarious. Your more than welcome to our surplus ladybugs. They are everywhere. Though I am no glad I am spared looking at them in their gross stage.

  4. I have laughed stitches in my side! I wondered about the viability of the ladybugs when you first started the project (yes, I've read past posts)I had hoped that ladybugs were hardier than frogs... unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case!
    Good luck on the next go round, maybe you should put the raisin in FIRST this time, you know - so you don't forget?

  5. If you'd like a shipment of back-up ladybugs, that can be arranged. We have a sudden infestation of them around here. (Somebody told me that they're actually some type of beetle that camouflages itself as a ladybug, but who's counting?)

  6. I just saw the Butterfly one on an infomercial last night! Looks fun... better luck next time!

  7. You have a gift, a GIFT! I think you should come and take care of the ants at my house.

  8. Kristen's tweet made me laugh so hard I nearly expired from coughing! Um, I think maybe you should consider practicing on those Tamagotchi pets first before you use anything live again. I'm just saying...

  9. Sorry but I laughed my ass off.

    We can't get rid of the damn ladybugs that get in our house in the fall and they drop like flies in your house. (no pun intended)

  10. Magimom: That's a good idea. Feed FIRST, ask questions later. Of course, I had a bad experience with an ant farm where I fed them TOO much and there were bad (and very tragic) mold issues.

  11. I'm sure you didn't mean to do it.

    Did you?

  12. Ummm...I think I have all the review I need. Please let the ladybugs live!!

  13. Oh dear. I'm sure that the second batch with have a much, much longer lifespan. Good luck!

  14. This morning my son told me that he's thinking of buying a couple of hearses when he's a grownup, because "you never know when you're going to need one." Maybe I should give him your number?

  15. Wonder if the people at Insect Lore are rethinking their blogger vetting process...

    So sorry for your loss (again).

  16. Dude.


    How many animals, insects, and reptiles must die?


    The habitat does look cool, though. Is there really enough room for the little buggers to fly in there, or do they fly into the walls? Are you supposed to release them eventually? Oh, the questions I have.

  17. P.S. Although Thien Kim at I'm Not the Nanny has an excellent post on softening raisins this week, I hope you can resist the urge!

    Those poor d*mn ladybugs.

  18. LMAO.

    I'm sorry but what haven't you killed?

    Maybe a Venus Fly trap next?

    Good luck with the second batch. If not, you know what they say, third times a charm, right?

  19. So, did you have to buy the second bunch of nascent ladybugs?

  20. Just as well you weren't raising them to be frog food, isn't it?

  21. Karen / being snippyApril 12, 2010 at 9:48 PM

    Hi Stimey, first, I wonder whether you are being too harsh on yourself.

    You congratulated your friends A & L on the birth of their very first baby! I believe whole-heartedly that you will continue to be a great friend to your friends, and to their newbie baby.

    Also, as far as you and I know, you have only caused harm (or, non-healthiness) to amphibians (froglets), ants, and ladybugs (aka, beetles?)

    Gerbils in your care? Happy and healthy!

    Children? Happy and healthy, too!

  22. I'm not even sure I want to let you meet my new cat.

  23. "of course you did!". Too funny. And sad. But mostly funny.

  24. All I can say is, "Stay away from my giant millipede!"

    We will all be waiting with bated breath to hear about the new hatchlings' chances.

    Maybe we should remind you to feed them? Actually we are all somewhat responsible because I don't think any of us reminded you to actually feed the creatures, and we are well aware of your track record with such innocents...

    Do you feel a lot of pressure with all this? Maybe it's too stressful...

  25. Perhaps you ought to try snails. I'd send you one, but I keep killing them.

  26. I'm not laughing. I swear I'm not. *snort*

    I have 1.5 million ladybugs here you can have for FREE. Swing by.

  27. I've got a shitload of stinkbugs around here - could you come work your magic on them, too? :)

  28. Stimey's Insect Hospice:
    Helping all soon-to-be-former living things through a dignified, loving, nurturing trip into the great bug zapper in the sky.

    At least you're not a doctor, so we don't need to worry about the ethics of your death enforce (strictly) everyone's right to die.

    Poking the patients with their own feeding tube though...that's a nice, personal touch. You just don't see that level of care anymore.

  29. well, at least my laughter has me amongst some fine company. I am sorry it turned out this way. I am sure the next attempt will end in a more fairytale style. (it's got to, right? cos now you know about the FEEDING them :D)

  30. I think there must be a pox upon your house or something.
    At least when it comes to small critters that weigh less than 1 pound.
    Here's hoping Round 2 is a success!

  31. Even worser story... Little Bear got a butterfly habitat for her birthday last summer. And Diana (NOT ME!) put it into the closet downstairs, meaning to pull it out one day when Little Bear needed a diversion. She forgot about it until about three months later when she was cleaning out the closet! Somehow the poor things had managed to turn into butterflies with no help from us, but because they never got to fly around, their wings didn't get strong! We took them outside and let them go. It was very sad watching them flop around in the grass!

  32. my 10 year old son was reading this over my shoulder and we were both laughing hysterically; Corpsey McLarvabug may become a catchphrase around here...


Thanks for commenting! May you be visited by unicorns and kittens.