Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Algernon Does Disney

I'm pretty sure at least some of you have been waiting for this. (Some of you are probably rolling your eyes right now.) Go get some coffee (or soda, in honor of me) while the photos load and then come back and read about Algernon's epic trip to Disneyworld.

Several of you have expressed interest in where exactly Algernon's little Disney hat came from. Yeah, you and everybody he ran into at Disney. Honestly, that little hat made me look even crazier than usual. But, to be fair, it also made me look way awesomer than usual.

You've probably already guessed that the hat came from Heather. She claims that it came from a Christmas tree ornament and was not, in fact, sewn from scratch by her loving but slightly deranged hands.

Algernon was just happy that it fit PERFECTLY.

Algernon was really excited for his trip to Disneyworld, but he was kinda pissed that we made him sit in the middle seat on the plane.

He complained A LOT about the lack of leg room.
We were all, "SHUT UP, ALGERNON!"

Nevertheless, he was determined to save us lest the plane go down.

"Okay. Oxygen mask on me first, THEN help Stimey and Heather."

It was way past Algernon's bedtime by the time we landed in Florida, but he wasn't so tired that he neglected to check his bed for snakes.

Nope, not there.

We woke up at the crack of early the next day to find Algernon already dressed and ready for us. He was excited.


We were, naturally, at the Magic Kingdom before it opened, where Algernon was totally obnoxious about having his photo taken.

"CHEESE!" (Get it? 'Cause he's a mouse?)

Unfortunately, Algernon was no better at deciphering the map than I was. We decided it would be better to stick together than to split up.

"We're here. Which means Mickey is where now?"

I took this next photo at lunchtime, shortly before I took a photo of a small salamander that hung out with us. And before Heather gets all eye-rolly about my photos of, you know, ACTUAL nature (ducks and squirrels are awesome, by the way), I should point out that little salamanders don't hang out near me that often in Maryland.

Algernon is looking at the giant sandwich made with
waffles instead of bread that I was eating.

Algernon waited patiently until late afternoon to meet Mickey. I do believe that I have beat you over the head enough with the photos of Algernon and Mickey, so I will just share with you this last one.

Even Minnie was jealous after this.

When we went to watch the Beauty and the Beast stage show, Algernon jumped in to help at the sound board.

He wrecked the whole show.

One of the things I really enjoyed about Disneyworld was the hats. People—who probably don't normally wear silly things on their persons—put some way crazy shit on their heads. Comparatively, Heather and Algernon were pretty tame.

But super adorable.

Hey, remember when Team Stimey went to the ice show and Quinn put his Shrek ears on his butt?

It's almost like my parenting is to blame.

At some point over the weekend, we decided to go to some of the resorts to look at the Christmas decorations. Our first stop was the Grand Floridian, which is the fancy schmancy resort. They had a lot of beautiful decorations, including this awesome person-sized gingerbread house.

See Algernon on the gold post base?

This is the first place that anyone gave me the side-eye for taking a photo of Algernon. Rich people are less fun. Stupid 1%. #occupythegingerbreadhouse

Or it could be because Algernon went past the velvet rope.

We headed upstairs for a better view and, seriously, it's almost like the Grand Floridian ENTRAPPED ME.

This time it was Heather who gave me the side eye.

Eventually Algernon ended up in more approved photo-taking locales.

You can't tell, but he's fake screaming in there.

Heather was even willing to get in on some of the action.

They're so cute.

We had a close call in the gift shop when Algernon fell in with a bad crowd, who tried to jump him in to their gang.

Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Fortunately, we were able to find an appropriately sized drink to calm Algernon's nerves after his harrowing experience.

Of course it was banana-flavored and from Pakistan, but...

He was happier at lunch with a more sizable vat of caffeine.

Those vats of caffeine were also saviors for me more than once.

On our last day, we visited all the country showcases at Epcot. Algernon, being Algernon, demanded that we take his photo in every single showcase.


Croissant! Oui, oui!


"Oh, 'ello, old chap."


Algernon: Lumberjack


It was while taking this photo that someone was all, "There has to be a story behind this," and all I could think is, "Yeah, it's that I'm an idiot."

See what I mean about weird headwear?


I don't know why, but I love those cats.

And this was for my munchkins.

The United States:

It's a metaphor.


Seriously. I keep running into those terrifying stone angels from Doctor Who. They are EVERYWHERE. I texted Alex a photo of this one with the message, "Don't blink." His response? "Not cool."

Algernon backed away from this angel very, very slowly.

In happier news, Algernon found someone else to pose with as well.

Heather wore mouse ears in every country that had them.


It had never occurred to me that Snow White is from Germany, but it makes sense when I think about it. I had my photo taken with her and I'm a little pissed at how much more put together she was than me. I also didn't mean for Algernon to be the centerpiece of our conversation, but I guess when you're wearing a stuffed mouse with Mickey ears on your finger, Snow White is going to ask you about him.

She asked me his name and then she asked me what his nickname was and I couldn't think of anything, but it seemed like she needed an answer, so I said "Algie," which in my mind then became "Algae." I'm so sorry, Algae.

I think the expression on her face says it all.


Algernon wanted to pose with another warrior in China.

I just now figured out that this was a dragon and not a lion.

And still another warrior.

Mouse friends!!


You've seen me in front of the troll, now see Algernon!

Algernon also spent some time in the troll's mouth. He's a weirdo.


Mexico was our last stop. We'd actually been to Mexico before and made this stop solely to get a photo of Algernon. It's nice to travel with like-minded people.


After all three days full of Disney fun, some of which I didn't even show you (you are welcome), Algernon was exhausted. Exhausted. (He wasn't the only one.)

Sleep well, sweet mouse.

I now promise that Stimeyland will be Disney-free for at least several months. Promise.

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