Thursday, March 1, 2012


Well, I just lost a bunch of days there. I taunted the plague gods earlier by talking about Team Stimey and the plague as if it were over. And the plague was all, "Fuuuuuck that; I smite you!" And I was smoten.

I was struck by The Plague, for it deserves capital letters here, in the very early hours of the morning on Tuesday. I was concerned for a while that Alex would not realize that I would need him to take the kids to school for me until it came to me that he might figure it out when he discovered me sleeping on the floor of the bathroom when he eventually woke up.

Fortunately, I had a lot of time to figure out the logistics of said school drop off as I lay on the floor trying to shove a towel in front of the air vent that was blowing hot air on my face as I tried not to puke—or tried to puke, either one, just not that terrible in between place that is so horrible.

Things were complicated by the fact that Jack was visiting a school we're considering for him for a visit last Tuesday, making it so we somehow had to get three kids to three different schools at just about the exact same time.

Fortunately, Quinn made it easier for all of us by yakking all over the bathmat shortly after everyone woke up. Problem solved. Two kids, two schools; one kid, one DSi, one day spent sitting on the floor next to my bed because he really didn't seem all that sick after he disgorged the contents of his stomach.

Side note: My dog threw up this morning for no apparent reason at all. I don't know what is wrong with this family.

Tuesday is a long, murky stretch of sleep, headache, and nausea for me, but there were a few things that I remember through the veil of illness:

(1) I would like to thank Nintendo for letting me sleep on Tuesday. Quinn sat at the end of my bed and played DSi for eight straight hours. Okay, not "straight hours." I know he ate some food at some point because I distinctly remember throwing his lunchbox at him. He also went to the bathroom at least once. Oh, and there was that several minute freakout when he thought the battery on his DSi was going to go dead and he couldn't find a wall outlet for his charger, but, yeah, pretty much eight hours straight. Thank God for that. I couldn't have parented him. I'm not proud, but we both lived through it.

(2) Evidently, eight straight hours of playing DSi leads to addiction. "He threw himself on the ground when I took it away," Alex said.

(3) Jack likes the school he visited. The one he visited is small and full of kids like Jack. He spent the whole day there Tuesday. Alex asked him if he liked it and he said, "Yes. The other kids don't look at me," which makes me think that Jack may have a better concept of social ostracism than I was aware of. (Sad face.) When I asked him what he liked about it, he said, "Everything!" When one of his teachers at his regular school asked what he liked about it, he said, "The science room." I love the idea of this school.

(4) Alex is a saint. For reals. The dude stepped up in a serious way.

(5) It's good to meet your writing deadlines ahead of time, which is how my White Knuckle Parenting column went up on time. I looked at my dog and my kids and weighed the evidence to decide who was better. It was closer than you might think.

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