Thursday, April 17, 2014

Lessons of Packing #1

Thank you all so much for your congrats on our new house! And thank you so much for your opinions on yard sale vs. donation of excess goods. You pretty much confirmed that I should be lazy and just donate. I thank you for that. Although I am actually going to try to sell some stuff on a Facebook yard sale. We'll see how that goes.

Regardless, I've been packing up the things we actually do want to keep, which, after ten years in one house, turns out to be a lot of stuff. My house has started to turn into a cubeworld. It's like I'm living in Minecraft these days.

Maybe I could build a little fort out of my cubes.

As I've been packing, I've learned some things. And because I share like that, I'm going to force you to listen to what I've learned. I am, of course, assuming that your house is exactly the same as mine.

1. Over the course of ten years, you will accumulate a tremendous number of gloves. You will not realize this because every time you need gloves for three kids, you will find four gloves and a mitten. When you empty out the glove box to pack it, however, you will find approximately 80 million gloves. Some of them will match each other.

2. In your gloves box, you will also find two fossilized fried chicken bones, leading to your being harassed by your cats for the entirety of winter clothes packing.

3. If you pack your kids' winter coats in a box and then lose that box in a pile of other boxes, the weather will instantly turn frigid.

3a. Because you refused to pack your own winter coat when you packed your kids', you will look like an asshole when you're cozy and warm in your parka and they are shivering in light sweatshirts.

4. When you have more than a month to pack, it is hard to refrain from packing all the easy-to-grab things that get used every day. You will start to convince yourself that you won't need to use things like pots or the pencil sharpener in the next several weeks.

5. I packed the stapler. I won't need the stapler, right?

6. When you very carefully remove Algernon's Army from its shelf and pack it, something else will immediately take its place.

This shelf ornament would be quickly replaced by another cat, who would be quickly followed by another.

7. Your husband will be mad if you show him a box marked "TOOLS" and ask him to jump inside.

In my defense, he is a TERRIBLE packer.

8. You will find Quinn's ChildFind papers, which you have been looking for for months, in a file unsurprisingly labeled "Quinn's ChildFind," but it will have been filed nowhere near any other special education paperwork.

9. The recovery of said papers will make you hope that all of your lost items will reappear before you move. Next up on the lost items wish list: my brown clogs. How the hell do you lose two whole shoes?

10. No matter how much stuff you think you have, you have more.


Jack’s special hockey team, the Montgomery Cheetahs, is still soliciting donations for their big fundraiser coming up in May. I want to thank Kelly so very much for her donation. You rock, Kelly. You can make your own donation online.


  1. I swear, random belongings turn sentient and multiply when they know you need to pack. It's the only logical explanation.

  2. Moving? What the hell??

    I guess I'll be reading your archives tomorrow. See what happens when I try to do life stuff? I miss yours. Heh.

  3. This is why I prefer military moves. We get packers. And movers. We just have to unpack all the boxes. Eventually. Maybe.

  4. Omg I am going through the same thing! We just packed up all our warm clothes and my kids are running around in shirts, sandals and sweatshirts. I can't cook bc I packed too many items and forgot to leave the right number of plates so we can't all eat at the same time unless one of us eats out of Tupperware. But we got a new house and we are so excited!
    While packing I found that I have an unusual number of teapots.

  5. Just wait. At some point you will reach a stage where the stuff you have already packed takes up so much room that there is no available space for packing. Or living. We moved four blocks away after 32 years in the same house and it's a miracle we are still talking, much less still married.

  6. For someone who has moved an ungodly number of times, I hate packing. And unpacking. And moving. The whole process is the worst! This comment is not helpful, except that you have someone who will fully commiserate with you.

  7. Seriously. I swear I didn't cram all that crap in the closet that I had to pull out and put into boxes.

  8. You just missed one post. We're buying a new house just a couple of miles away from where we are now. Very exciting! It's okay. You can live your own life. :)

  9. For reals. The government moved us to Alaska and back when we lived there. It was awesome. I do have to admit that I'm kind of enjoying the inventory and culling of our possessions. The actually moving though? You'd better believe we're throwing money at THAT situation.

  10. Ha! That is totally something I would do. Congrats on your new house!!! I hope you and your teapots are very happy there. :)

  11. Yeah, the boxes are already taking over and it's only been a couple days of packing. The only reason our marriage will get through this is because I am kind of a control freak and don't let Alex pack or unpack. It's a lot of work, but really better for everyone.

  12. I do appreciate that. :) I don't mind the packing and unpacking so much. It is the moving I don't like. Fortunately, there are burly individuals you can hire to do that sort of thing for you.

  13. When we moved into our second floor flat twenty years ago we moved ourselves in. Over one weekend we each climbed up and down the forty odd stairs to the flat, carrying boxes, something like 83 times. We're never moving out. Ever.
    Good luck with the move. The new house sounds completely awesome.

  14. I hate packing. Haaaate. The last time we moved, Matt's company paid for packers and it was AMAZING. All in one day, they packed up everything we owned. They came back the next day and loaded everything on a truck. All I had to do was unpack and that is the only acceptable part of moving. Normally, it takes me a hundred years to pack and by the end, I am jamming random stuff into random boxes. And somehow, you never finish. There's ALWAYS more stuff to pack.


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