I don’t even remember how it first came up, but now it seems that we’re going to get a divorce over it.
At some point last night, Alex made the ridiculous claim that cats have arms.
Now, it used to be when Alex and I had these very important disputes about things of this nature, I had to turn to my blog. Now I have twitter. So it happened that I screeched, “I’m going to ask the internet!” and started furiously typing.
He might have still been talking. I vaguely remember hearing words like “hate” and “you” but I was too busy twittering:
Then Kimberly tweeted about a friend of hers trying to find a home for two cats in the NY/NJ area, which gave me the perfect opportunity to respond, “So that would be 8 legs worth of cats, right?”
Lori also followed up with “or whichever you think, b/c i’m on your side,” which was nice, but unnecessary because logic and science had dictated that she had already made the correct choice.
Because arms? On a cat? That’s absolutely ridiculous.
Which is why I was so disappointed when Navi came up with the answer “um… both.” I told her that I would tell Alex that he got half a vote. (I didn’t tell him though. ‘Cause I’m a bitch that way.) Then, because she was actually working at a library at the time, Navi went ahead and did further research for me. She claims that the following backs up her answer:
I repeat: a human upper limb. I think even Alex would be hard pressed to make a case for a cat being a human.
From there, the dissent got worse. Magpie made the outrageous claim of, “2 arms, 2 legs on a cat. in my house, anyway,” followed seconds later by another tweet: “But, we haven’t any cats anymore…”
Of course at this point I made the assholish comment, “Is it because you made them do chores with their arms and opposable thumbs? Oh, wait! They don’t have either of those.” In reality, the reason she doesn’t have cats anymore is probably a lot sadder than forced window washing, which is probably why I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the night and why she’s probably having papers drawn up right now to blog friend divorce me.
Do you see how terrible things come out of these controversies?
Then, news came in that I’d destroyed another marriage with my controversy. Wife and Mommy twittered: “The Husband and I just disagreed…I say four legs. He says two arms two legs. Now our marriage may depend on the right answer.” Fortunately, Carrie of myterrific2some has a more reasonable husband. Both members of that couple agreed: 4 legs.
Then Joeymom, who apparently has had some bad experiences with cats wrote, “Cats have four legs. Unless they are attacking you.” I’d love to hear that story. If it’s as good as the turkey attack, I’ll laugh really hard.
KerryInMaine based her reply solely on the evidence she had observed: “It depends on the cat, of course, but all the cats I’ve ever met have had 4 legs, no arms.” Maybe she never met Magpie’s cats.
I thought the matter was all settled and then I went to bed. But like all good controversies, this one continues. I woke up this morning to this persuasive tweet from Chef Kate: “not sure if you got your answer, but legs attach to hips and arms attach to shoulder blades, so 2 legs and 2 arms”
I close with conflicting evidence from Kerry. Kerry had originally answered with the very correct response “4 legs,” and then later, “I’m pretty sure that the term ‘4 legged’ is always applied to cats,” but when I checked my email this morning, I found this:
he complied. So maybe they do have arms.”
Clearly this is far from over.
And, yes, this is pretty much the kind of thing that Alex and I chat about. It’s like we’re 10-year-olds. I’m glad to see that the rest of you who are tweeting on a Friday night are just as infantile as us.
So now, I turn the controversy over to you, dear blogosphere. Just remember that Alex never gave you nothin’.*
* I’m not sure I’ve ever given you anything either, but let’s try not to remember that.
p.s. Magpie, come back!!!!