Tuesday, March 17, 2020

The Very Best Thing in the Whole Entire World

Graphic reading "That's DELIGHTFUL!" with multicolored silhouettes of an ice cream cone, mouse, smiley face, runner, cat, unicorn, and heart
Who wants some happiness? Welcome to my new series, "That's DELIGHTFUL!" wherein I tell you about things that are great in an effort to make you forget the shitshow in which we are living.

For my first installment, I am going to tell you about the best purchase I have ever made noreallythebestpurchaseIloveitsomuch!

Several years ago my family was on a trip. We were staying in a hotel and were sitting in the hotel restaurant waiting for food. Because my childrens were small and impatient and generally problematic at restaurant tables, a couple of us went for a walk through the hotel where we found the most delightful (That's DELIGHTFUL!) curtain made of tiny metal beads. Jack and Quinn and I kind of lost our minds. It was probably the most wonderful, stimmy thing we had ever been given tacit permission to play with.

Since then, I have run across the same type of curtain several times, almost always at hotels or cafes. I've badly wanted one, but was never able to find the cheapo version on Amazon that would make me happy. I also don't really have the type of house that lends itself to metal bead curtain decor. I mostly gave up on owning one and pinned my hopes on running across them in the wild.

A couple of months ago, however, I decided that if I really wanted one and had wanted one for, like, ten years, and I had a closet doorway in my bedroom that looked terrible, I should go goddamn ahead and buy myself the thing I wanted most in the world.

You guys. I am about to show you a photo of the door that used to be on my closet (we had to take a mirror off of it) next to a photo of my new double density steel ball chain curtain. Are you ready?

Side by side photos of a doorway in a green wall. On the left is a white door with errant mirror-hanging hardware and a non-painted square int he middle of it; on the right, the door is gone and a curtain of long metal bead strands covers the opening.
I mean, can you even?
In case you are like me and desperately want this in your life, you should know that I purchased this through Shop Wild Things. They answered all my questions via email and I ordered a custom curtain without having to speak to a single person. My door opening was two feet wide and the curtain they ended up sending in error was 20 inches and they handled getting me a free replacement and the original curtain return with so much ease and grace. I could not be happier with them.

Also, I get to walk through this thing every day. Multiple times! Alex asked me if I wanted hooks in case I wanted to hold the curtain back and I was all, "Why on Earth would I want to create a situation where I didn't touch the thing every time I go into my closet?"

Seriously, it is so heavy and tactile and wonderful.

Close up photo of my hand holding some of the beads.
It feels SO good.
Alex sent Jack up to our room to ask me a question the other day and I pointed out the curtain to him. Then he spent, like, twenty minutes playing with it. It is sooooo good, you guys.

I mean, the only downside to the whole thing is that the curtain is right next to where my upstairs cats (if you don't know this story, it's long and complicated) eat and they think the curtain is the first sign of the apocalypse.
Photo of two white cats eating out of bowls right next to the curtain.
I mean, they're not on a hunger strike or anything, but if you shake the beads, they'll abandon their food—and that is NOT something they do lightly.

Sometimes it's the small things. In this case, it is dozens of small things strung together and hung in a doorway. 

Photo of me standing behind the curtain. I'm smiling and there is a gap where I'm holding the beads aside.
Me in my happy place.

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